Movie Postmortems: CATWOMAN

by John S.

Movie Postmortems is a series that reviews certain films which showed promise but misfired, critically and/or commercially, upon release. Join us in our attempt to find out exactly what the hell happened.

THE CASUALTY: Catwoman

THE CASE HISTORY: June 1992. Tim Burton’s Batman Returns, the follow-up to his very successful Batman, opens to the biggest weekend box-office numbers up until that point in time, about $45 million. Although it finishes commercially about $90 million less than Batman’s overall domestic take ($251 million vs. $162 million), critical notices are strong. A near-universal favorite is Michelle Pfeiffer as Selina Kyle/Catwoman.

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DANGEROUS MEN: A Dreamer’s Midnight Movie Realized

by Norm Nielsen

Dangerous Men is an 80-minute film with production values so awful it’s impossible to ascertain if they are laughably intentional or laughably naive. Dangerous Men exuberantly showcases bad directing, bad acting, a bad film score, bad songs, bad sound, and bad screenwriting. Scenes feature fat men in ill-fitting white Jockey shorts, knee fetishism, amateurish fight choreography, repulsive nudity, and a female killer who hides a knife in her butt crack. In one memorable scene, a police chief obviously reads from the yellow-highlighted script on his desk while talking on a phone that is not plugged in. Different actors play the same role (presumably due to the years-long shooting schedule) while tangential subplots appear and disappear with no resolution. The film’s poster is poorly punctuated. And this is only a short list of the film’s many OMG details.

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New Releases for September 26!

 

It’s another Glorious New Release Tuesday!

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The Second Annual Scarecrow Psychotronic Challenge!

 

by Jensen Ward

31 days. October 2017. “The Horror! The Horror!”

Psychotronic:

adjective, Denoting or relating to a genre of films that typically have a science fiction, horror or fantasy theme and were made on a low budget.   –Oxford English Dictionary

It’s that time again. A whole month of psychotronic viewing, with one new category for every day in October! Are you up to the challenge?

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Inside I Was Screaming: Cameron and Bay, My Pre-Teen Therapists

by Emalie Soderback

When I was growing up, there were two movies I’d watch over and over again on my tiny cube television set with a built in VCR. Two movies, four VHS tapes—James Cameron’s Titanic (1997) and Michael Bay’s Pearl Harbor (2001). These incredible big-budget dramas with their ground-breaking special effects, and casts of young, dashing leading men like Leonardo DiCaprio and Josh Hartnett—not to mention the female leads of equally astounding beauty Kate Winslet and Kate Beckinsale—set against the backdrop of earth-shattering historical tragedies seemed to match up perfectly to my end-of-the-world, overdramatic, tween emotions.

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